01-13-2016, 01:32 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2016, 08:36 PM by Magikeeper.)
Alright then! I have a few questions/comments/etc:
1) What is Mora's shifter form? I'm guessing her animal spirit is wolf, but her hybrid form could be anything from full anthropomorphic (sounds like that is the case) to just having ears and a tail or something.
2) Being raised by wolves is fine, although... what situation would result in wolves both A) Attacking people and B) Caring for a child? Wolves normally don't attack people, and if they were starving or otherwise prone to attacking people I don't see how a child would survive. The exact backstory also left me wondering who completed the operation, since both her parents died while she was being born?
How about Mora lost her family when she was very young rather than when she was born, and whatever killed them was not the same wolf pack that raised her? That solves a lot of issues, and she could still lack memories of her original family.
3) Spells - Hrm. With spells, each spell is learned individually. You need to learn at least one first level spell of art X to be able to learn any of the second level spells of art X.
I'm going to make this easier - since you're Storm Called storm spells only cost you 30gxlevel each. Thanks to the grand opening bonus you start with 400g instead of 200, so you could by a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th level storm spell and still have enough left over for a vital spell. I suggest having the storm spells, so just look through the list below and pick 1 spell of each level:
This would also mean Mora would start with levels 0-4 of Sky Song.
She also has level 0 of rush-down.
lvl 0. Unleashing explosive force is ill-advised for those who tire easily - novices of Rush-Down diligently build up their endurance before moving on to more difficult maneuvers. Mora is no exception, and thus possess the equivalent of endurance training.
3) Summoning Stone: How exactly do you imagine this working? As written it is.. very vague. "I can technically summon hoards of elephants at will. Or whales, sure, why not whales?" vague. It definitely needs to be more precise.
Do you imagine it creating summons (in which case I would suggest choosing an animal/type of animal and an amount and working from there balance-wise, or even give it a few specific options), or do you imagine it calling local animals to your location (which would also require some very precise rules, but different from the above)?
4) It is technically possible for a singular magical animal to have developed the ability to talk. It'd be nearly unique, as that being uncommon is an understatement. I would greatly prefer, however, if Mora instead had the ability to understand wolves (who were just as smart as ordinary wolves), and her pet wolf didn't actually have the ability to talk. She just naturally understands what they are trying to convey to her in a manner that, to her, takes the form of "hearing them talk". I feel like if someone starts with a talking animal, we will soon be up to our ears in talking animal pets and that really doesn't make sense in the setting.
So, my suggestion is:
Howl Reader: Due to her unusual upbringing, and her connection to the her Song, Mora has developed the ability to "hear" what wolves are trying to convey to her as though they were speaking. Likewise, wolves naturally understand whatever she says. In both cases this translation is through the power of the Sky Song - it does not actually give wolves the ability to speak / fully understand other humans.
--
On another note, do you plan on having the wolf pet fight? If so, it might be the good idea to give it some kind of ability or magic collar or whatever that aids in combat. Or I could suggest one, whatever you prefer. This somewhat depends on how strong the summoning stone ends up being.
1) What is Mora's shifter form? I'm guessing her animal spirit is wolf, but her hybrid form could be anything from full anthropomorphic (sounds like that is the case) to just having ears and a tail or something.
2) Being raised by wolves is fine, although... what situation would result in wolves both A) Attacking people and B) Caring for a child? Wolves normally don't attack people, and if they were starving or otherwise prone to attacking people I don't see how a child would survive. The exact backstory also left me wondering who completed the operation, since both her parents died while she was being born?
How about Mora lost her family when she was very young rather than when she was born, and whatever killed them was not the same wolf pack that raised her? That solves a lot of issues, and she could still lack memories of her original family.
3) Spells - Hrm. With spells, each spell is learned individually. You need to learn at least one first level spell of art X to be able to learn any of the second level spells of art X.
I'm going to make this easier - since you're Storm Called storm spells only cost you 30gxlevel each. Thanks to the grand opening bonus you start with 400g instead of 200, so you could by a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th level storm spell and still have enough left over for a vital spell. I suggest having the storm spells, so just look through the list below and pick 1 spell of each level:
This would also mean Mora would start with levels 0-4 of Sky Song.
She also has level 0 of rush-down.
lvl 0. Unleashing explosive force is ill-advised for those who tire easily - novices of Rush-Down diligently build up their endurance before moving on to more difficult maneuvers. Mora is no exception, and thus possess the equivalent of endurance training.
3) Summoning Stone: How exactly do you imagine this working? As written it is.. very vague. "I can technically summon hoards of elephants at will. Or whales, sure, why not whales?" vague. It definitely needs to be more precise.
Do you imagine it creating summons (in which case I would suggest choosing an animal/type of animal and an amount and working from there balance-wise, or even give it a few specific options), or do you imagine it calling local animals to your location (which would also require some very precise rules, but different from the above)?
4) It is technically possible for a singular magical animal to have developed the ability to talk. It'd be nearly unique, as that being uncommon is an understatement. I would greatly prefer, however, if Mora instead had the ability to understand wolves (who were just as smart as ordinary wolves), and her pet wolf didn't actually have the ability to talk. She just naturally understands what they are trying to convey to her in a manner that, to her, takes the form of "hearing them talk". I feel like if someone starts with a talking animal, we will soon be up to our ears in talking animal pets and that really doesn't make sense in the setting.
So, my suggestion is:
Howl Reader: Due to her unusual upbringing, and her connection to the her Song, Mora has developed the ability to "hear" what wolves are trying to convey to her as though they were speaking. Likewise, wolves naturally understand whatever she says. In both cases this translation is through the power of the Sky Song - it does not actually give wolves the ability to speak / fully understand other humans.
--
On another note, do you plan on having the wolf pet fight? If so, it might be the good idea to give it some kind of ability or magic collar or whatever that aids in combat. Or I could suggest one, whatever you prefer. This somewhat depends on how strong the summoning stone ends up being.